I invited Laura Stifter to my 2nd grade Birthday party. I think I was allowed 5 friends, and we were going to do a craft project of some sort. So the party happened, I’m sure it was fantastic, & that Monday at school – my teacher pulled me aside & told me how ‘nice it was of me to invite Laura.’ I hardly remember that Bday party – but I distinctly remember Mrs. Warner thanking me. I remember the confusion – ‘why wouldn’t I invite Laura?! She was one of my top-5 friends?!’
Growing up – my dad always emphasized that some people were ‘special.’ He had a friend Tom, that joined our family weekly for dinner – Tom was special. My mom’s friend’s kid, Clayton – was special. Laura – I knew from my family – was special. But to me – SPECIAL NEVER MEANT ‘DIFFERENT’. It meant absolutely one-of-a-kind, well,.. SPECIAL.
Laura is down-syndrome. As were my parents’ friends I mentioned. My parents acted normal around their friends, and so I acted like myself around my Laura. I honestly think I knew no different. She was Laura. She was special. And she was my good friend.
Since then -- Laura graduated high school, she was diagnosed & conquered Leukemia, she is the best aunt in the world, and now has a good job. We sometimes go to movies together and she wants to marry Brad Pitt. She remembers every actor’s name, knows directions better than I do, and has a line to hug her every week at church. She knows my birthday, as well as my parents’, siblings, their spouses, and kids’. She remembers names and numbers and… everything. She is just amazingly smart. And amazingly, special.
Despite how society separates Laura from the norm and labels her as slow, incapable, and ‘DIFFERENT’ -- I still think she, and my parents, embedded in me a sense of being ‘SPECIAL.’
Since being a rockstar friend at my 2nd grade Bday party -- & through all of these years of friendship – Laura has really shaped how I view and treat others. All with respect. All with optimism. Being a friend of Laura’s is an honor, not a chore. Definitely.
It always bothers me when people react differently around people with special needs.
ReplyDeleteI especially never understood why the schools in my hometown separated them from the rest of the "regular" students. It's almost like they are instilling in the student body that people with special needs are a "problem" that must be dealt with on its own. Hopefully that will change sometime.